Parenting and Caregiving is Hard. Supporting Your Child’s Mental Health Doesn’t Have to Be.

Recently your child participated in a Common Compass session with our education and mental health professionals at their school. We’ve sent them home with a magnetic postcard with some helpful tips so you can continue to support your child. Keep your postcard in a handy location (like the fridge) so you can reference it during a difficult moment.

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Here are some of our favourite go-to tips that provide a solid foundation to support your child’s mental health!

Feelings First, Fixes Later. Help Them Feel Heard.

“That sounds really important to you.”
“Tell me more about how that feels”
“That sounds really hard.”

Repeat back in your own words: “So, you’re feeling…”

The number one thing any parent or caregiver can do to support their child’s mental health is to deeply listen to what their child is saying. This means not jumping into “problem-solving mode.” Children usually aren’t looking for us to solve the problem, they just want to feel understood. It sounds simple, but if you take time to focus on the emotion they are experiencing, and paraphrase it back to them in an authentic tone, it can be one of the most powerful tools in your toolbox!

Unconditional Acceptance and Presence.

“I’m here for you no matter what.”
“I’m listening. I’m here.”

Small nods have a big impact.
Give space for silence—it lets them open up.

Telling your child that you are a safe space where they can share difficult emotions is very powerful. It can be tempting to say, “It’s not that bad,” but you want to convey that sharing hard emotions with you is okay. Acknowledging their experience and emotions is different than agreeing with their perception of the experience. Be fully present with them; if they begin sharing something with you, make eye contact, put the phone away, and fully tune in. If you do this consistently, your child will come back to you when they are struggling.

Be Curious and Express Interest in What They Are Interested In

• Ask open-ended questions. “What’s something new you learned today?”
• Shared interests spark connection. Do something they love!
• Be present in their world. “Show me what you’re working on!”
• Be their biggest fan. “I love hearing what matters to you.”

Can you spend even 10 minutes a day doing something with your child that they choose, while being fully present? Showing interest in what they love and are interested in sparks connection and can help address challenging behaviours at the root. We often think children are “attention seeking” when in fact they are “connection seeking”.

The Power of Celebrations & Family Rituals

• Celebrate the small stuff. “Tell me one good thing that happened today’”
• Catch them being great! Celebrate the little victories.
• Routine check-ins show you care. “What’s on your mind?”

It’s so easy for our communication with our children to be focused on ‘correction’. Make sure you pay attention and celebrate the little things with them, both in terms of their behaviour, and also small efforts and milestones. Did they try hard at their front crawl at swimming lessons? Acknowledge it! Did they get through a hard week of school stacked with lots of assignments? Let them know you are proud of how hard they worked! Focus on celebrating the effort

vs. the “achievement / outcome.”
Family rituals are great opportunities to celebrate these small moments. Try going around the table at dinner and sharing highs and lows to spark conversation. It’s also a great opportunity for you to model and verbalize how you coped with your “low” (difficult moment in your day).

Join our growing parent community in a private Facebook group for more tips on supporting your child’s mental health.

Remember, we can’t run our school and parent programs without your support! Consider donating today. Every dollar counts!